Just Discovered My Kink While Working Night Shift

So yeah, I've been working night shifts at the warehouse for about three months now. It's a pretty lonely gig, you know? You're mostly just surrounded by boxes and silence. Anyway, one day, around midnight, I was feeling especially down because my girlfriend of two years dumped me a week ago. She said I was too distant. But here's the thing, I never felt like I could be myself with her. We'd had this one night when she wanted to try something out of our comfort zone but it ended up being weird and awkward for both of us. Anyway, that day at work, after tossing around these heavy boxes alone all night long, I found my mind wandering into some unexpected places. I started thinking about a boss from years ago who had this really authoritative way of running things. He'd always have this way of speaking down to his employees in this oddly comforting yet domineering manner. It was like he knew exactly how much slack to give and when. I realized, for the first time, that I kind of get off on this whole dynamic. The thought of being under someone else's control, not just professionally but personally too, it excited me. Like, really turned me on. At first it felt weird and wrong, like I was betraying my old self who never wanted to be in a relationship where they had to follow rules or answer for their every move. But as the night went on, this idea of being someone else's little helper (or whatever you want to call it) started feeling more and more like an escape from all the pressure and expectations I have on myself. So now here I am, trying to make sense of why suddenly discovering this in my mid-thirties has become such a revelation. Am I just looking for someone to tell me what to do so I don't have to think? Or is it really something deeper about wanting to be taken care of after years of putting myself out there without any reciprocation? It's crazy how one night can change your whole perspective, you know? And now that I'm home from work and it's still dark outside, I feel this weird mixture of curiosity and fear about what comes next.