A Little Bit Off Track...

After my divorce, I found solace in being someone's Mommy again. It helped me reconnect with a part of myself that had faded away during my marriage. But lately, things have been slipping... Last week, the house was supposed to be spotless before he arrived for our playdate, but I ended up eating an entire bag of chips while watching TV instead of cleaning. The kitchen counter looked like a war zone by the time he got there... My heart sank as I saw his disappointed face. It's hard maintaining that 'little girl' mindset when grown-up problems weigh you down. He told me to clean, but my hand hovered over the trash bin filled with chip wrappers, refusing to do it. Then, there was a knock at the door - him standing outside, waiting for an immaculate house... I had let us both down. It's moments like these that make me feel small and lost again.