Just Figuring It Out

I started as a bartender at this place three months ago. I never expected to get into DDLG because it's not exactly something you plan for in your twenties. But here we are. My boss, Alex, is five years older than me and has been like the perfect mentor. He's always there when I need help or advice. The thing is, he’s also my kink partner, though we never talk about that part of our relationship at work. It started a couple weeks ago after a long shift where I’d served him several times. We were closing up and there was this moment where everything felt right. Alex said something about me needing to relax more, to let go more. It sounded innocent enough then, but when he asked if I wanted to help out in his office for an extra hour, my heart skipped a few beats. In his office, we talked a lot about boundaries and rules. He set some clear expectations about what could happen there and what wouldn’t be tolerated. Surprisingly, it felt okay, I felt safe even though it was new and different from anything I’d ever done before. But the more we did this, the clearer it became that he wasn't just mentoring me at work; he saw something in me as a partner too. It’s complicated because outside of those sessions, Alex is still my boss. And while everything feels okay inside his office, talking about anything even remotely related to our dynamic at work gives me anxiety. So, here I am, unsure if this is normal and hoping someone can give me some insight into what’s happening with us.