Lost Myself in Roleplay ...

I'm so ashamed to even type this out... It feels like the moment I lost something precious within me... I was in a relationship for five years... we broke up last week and it's been tough without her... Trying to fill that void, I joined an adult site dedicated to roleplaying and discovered DDLG... The idea of being cared for again by someone else is so comforting... but it's not the same as what we had together... I found a caregiver there who really knows how to nurture... They made me feel like a child again, with all this sweet attention... It's... it's so easy to get lost in that feeling... I became their little one for a while, fully embracing it... They were so caring and protective... But then... I guess I got carried away... There was something about the power dynamic that turned me on more than I expected... I started pushing boundaries... playing games with submission... It's not like anything happened for real... but mentally, emotionally... I got into a headspace where I lost track of reality... I'm scared to admit even to myself how far it went... How much I let my defenses down... I feel so vulnerable and exposed now... What if this person knows things about me that nobody else does? ...What if I never get back the strength I had before? Just typing this is making me cry... It's all such a mess...