The Weight of Admitting My Secret Love for Age-Play

I'm in my late 20s and I've been married to my wife for five years. We have a stable life, a nice house, and we're both pretty content with our lives as they are. But there's this thing that's been eating at me for the past two years: I secretly enjoy age-play and being in a DDLG dynamic. It started when I discovered some forums online where people share their stories about these types of relationships. At first, it was just curiosity but then...I found myself wanting to try it out with my wife. She knows about all sorts of things we've tried, mostly vanilla stuff and light BDSM play. She's always up for trying new things when I suggest them, which is part of why our relationship works so well. But this? It's different because it involves a level of emotional and mental role-play that goes beyond just physical pleasure. A few months back, I brought up the idea to her one night over dinner. We were both drunk and I felt safe enough to broach such a sensitive topic. Her reaction was immediate: she looked at me like I had grown another head. The shock on her face said it all, she thought I was joking or perhaps trying to set us up for something fun that we could then laugh about. Instead of laughing, though, the conversation just fell flat after that moment. We both pretended nothing happened for weeks afterward but the tension grew between us. It’s like there's this unspoken rule now that even talking about it again is forbidden territory in our relationship. I've tried to push my desire away by focusing on other things: work, friends, hobbies. But whenever I'm alone and my mind wanders back to those forums or the idea of being someone else for a night with her, it feels like an ache deep inside that won't go away no matter what I do. I don’t know if it’s fair to me or to us as a couple not to address this elephant in the room. It's been weighing on my heart heavily and making everything feel so hollow between us lately. She still treats me like she used to, with affection and care, but there’s a distance there now that wasn't there before. I need to find some way to be honest about who I am without breaking what we have. Maybe someday the right words will come out of my mouth instead of just staying stuck in my head.