When I Gave Up Control for Awhile

I've been working from home as a freelancer for about three years now. It's really comfortable because I can set my own hours and manage everything on my schedule. But sometimes, the lack of structure drives me crazy. That’s when I decided to try something new, hire a life coach who also does accountability coaching, but with a twist. I found this guy online who was offering something called 'parental guidance' along with regular life coaching. He claimed he could help me stay on track and motivated, sort of like having a real parent looking over my shoulder all the time. I liked the idea because it felt safe, after all, we agreed that everything would be consensual. So, we started working together. The first few sessions were normal, but then things changed. He suggested more frequent check-ins and eventually asked if I wanted him to play a stricter role. It was weird at first, talking about discipline and boundaries like this, especially since it wasn't sexual in nature. But the more we did it, the easier it got. There were times when he would scold me for not following through with my goals or when I slipped up on something small, like cleaning the house or responding to emails faster. It’s embarrassing to admit this, but there was a part of me that actually craved that attention and validation. I remember once, after missing a deadline, he made me stand in the corner for five minutes as punishment. Now, I know it sounds silly and ridiculous, but at the time, it felt like a real deterrent to mess up again. And I didn’t, it was hard to break that streak after that little 'punishment'. But then came the big change. One day he suggested we try a weekend-long session where I would check in with him hourly and follow his instructions for everything from getting dressed to how much work I do. It felt like stepping back into high school, but also strangely freeing. He was controlling every little detail of my life. Looking back, it’s clear that part of the appeal was giving up responsibility and control. But as days went on, the imbalance between us grew uncomfortable. Eventually, after a few weeks of this intense schedule, I told him I needed to step back. It felt like breaking up with someone, though we never really acted romantic. Now, months later, whenever I feel stressed or overwhelmed, there’s a part of me that wishes I could just go back and be a kid again, without all the responsibility. But mostly, I’m glad it ended. It was something I needed to do for myself, but maybe not for much longer than a few weeks.