Secret Desires in the Night

I never thought I’d be typing this, I feel so ashamed. My husband’s away on another deployment and it feels like we’re drifting apart, but tonight, when I was alone, I couldn’t resist. I ended up exploring my desires online, finding videos that made me blush even as they turned me on. There was one where a domme used a crop on her sub, her hand movements were so precise and the sounds she made...it sent shivers down my spine. I felt like I could almost see myself in there, letting go of all restraint for just those few minutes. It’s embarrassing to even admit it, but it was such a relief. Now, here I am, confessing on this site, do you ever feel that way too?