Caring Isn't Always Easy

I've been the caregiver for my partner for a few years now. We both came into it with eyes wide open, she's 18+, and I'm in my mid-20s, so no age-gap nonsense here. But there are times when all this care-taking stuff feels like more than what 'just being partners' would mean. I end up setting rules for her (and yes, enforcing them), sometimes punishing her if she breaks them, I do things that make me feel... old-school strict, and it's a weird mix of hot and uncomfortable. She seems to enjoy it, though? It’s confusing as hell. Do other people find this dynamic healthy or is it just a mess waiting to happen? Is there something wrong with feeling like you need to have more control over your partner in this kind of relationship? I mean, it's not traditional at all and yet...