A Secret from Military Life

I never thought I'd admit this even to myself, but being a military spouse has given me more than just duty and routines. There's a side of me that likes to play little, to be cared for and disciplined by someone bigger and stronger. It started as a way to cope with the stress and loneliness when my husband was away on deployments, but it grew into something I crave even when he's home. Just writing this makes me feel ashamed, I know I shouldn't let someone treat me like that, but there's this part of me that longs for it. It's hard to keep it a secret from the person who means everything to me.