It Was Just Late Thoughts

I'm this night-shift worker who's been dealing with a lot lately. It’s three AM and I’m still wide awake, typing out my thoughts here because there’s just no one else to talk to right now. So, yeah, it hit me hard recently that my job as a caregiver means something more than just the job title. Like, there's this client, let's call them 'Jesse'. They're in their twenties and they’ve been through a lot. Sometimes I’m not just there to make sure they take their meds or get some sleep. There’s this... dynamic that formed without me really noticing. I started feeling protective of Jesse, like way more than just professionalism. And then one night, after helping them calm down from an anxiety attack, it sort of happened. It was the first time I felt the need to take charge in a different way, you know? Not just as their nurse but... well, something else. It’s strange how much my role shifted that moment without me really thinking about it. And then after, we started this little game or ritual of sorts. There's no title for it really; it’s not like I'm some kind of Dad-figure or anything so blatant. It’s just... this thing we do now and again to keep things in check. Funny how these late-night thoughts can feel both exhausting and freeing at the same time. Sometimes, being responsible feels too much but then there are moments where you realize it's not all bad. You learn stuff about yourself when you're alone with your thoughts like this.