hidden desires

i never thought id admit this to myself let alone anyone else but recently i found out that im kinda into ageplay with my partner we havent actually done it yet its still in the exploring stage but just thinking about it gets me so hot and confused at the same time why would someone like me who is 45 want to pretend to be younger or have a younger persona when there arent even any real power dynamics involved i mean im not that much older than him but its still strange im not sure if its a way to relive some past feelings or just a weird fetish