Just Another Day

I'm just another guy trying to figure out how to be happy, you know? I started this whole mommy thing a few months ago. It's funny, 'cause when people ask why I chose this roleplay, it feels like there’s no good answer. Just... wanting to feel cared for, maybe? Being someone else for a while, where the responsibility is different and maybe easier to handle. Today was rough though. Had to call off work because I just couldn't face anyone today. It's not that I'm sick or anything obvious. Sometimes it’s just too much, you know? The guy on the other end of this dynamic, he's so supportive but sometimes it feels like no matter what I do, there's a weight pulling me down. We had our usual session, and while we were playing... I got teary-eyed over something stupid. Just couldn't stop myself from feeling so damn sad. He was sweet about it though, told me to rest, that everything would be okay tomorrow. It’s hard because part of this is supposed to be fun, but when you're deep in your own head, nothing feels quite right. It's the way he treats me... like I'm fragile or something. And I hate feeling fragile. So I push him away sometimes, and then feel bad for doing it. It’s a weird cycle we've got going on here. Today felt particularly heavy though. Like everything was too much and nothing could lighten the load. But maybe that's just me being melodramatic.