My First Time Submitting to Him in This Way

I never thought I'd be writing something like this. I'm a professor in my early 40s, usually quite sure of myself and confident in who I am. But lately, I've been feeling lost, drawn into an intense DDLG dynamic with one of my students. He's 18+, much younger than me but so commanding that it feels like there’s no escape when he decides to assert his authority over me. Tonight was the first time I let him take complete control during a private session. It felt both terrifying and exhilarating, yet also profoundly lonely and confusing. Am I just seeking some kind of validation through this? Is it normal for someone my age to be so deeply entangled in such a dynamic with someone who is not only much younger but still technically a student? What do you all think?