just figuring stuff out

so yeah i got divorced recently and have been feeling lost. started trying out some little kink stuff with a guy online who's in his thirties. it helps me feel like a kid again, less pressure to be an adult all the time. we've done some roleplay over video chat where he treats me like i'm younger, tells me what to do and how to act. i like feeling taken care of, having someone else make decisions for once. weirdly, it's helped me cope with the end of my marriage, feel more in control of my life now somehow. still not sure why it clicks but it does.