A Little Indulgence

I had this weird urge today to let myself off the hook for just one thing. I’ve been so strict with my diet and exercise routine, but today I found a chocolate bar in my backpack that I wasn’t supposed to have... It was like this momentary lapse of control and it felt both wrong and strangely right at the same time. I’m starting to think there’s something about breaking rules that appeals to me on some deeper level... I’m not sure if this is just a small rebellion against my own discipline or if there’s more to it than that... Maybe it’s part of why I enjoy playing the role of Daddy in our relationship, even though it’s all consensual and nothing serious. It’s like I get to be both the one who sets the rules AND the one who occasionally breaks them... Anyway, back to reality, now I’m feeling a little guilty about this tiny indulgence... but maybe that’s okay too? Sometimes it feels good to just let yourself go a bit and experience that sense of breaking free from self-imposed constraints. Even if it’s just for something as small as a chocolate bar... I need to get back to studying now, but I can’t help wondering about this... Am I doing this more often? Do I secretly crave the thrill of being told what to do and then doing exactly the opposite... or is it simply a matter of craving that little bit of sweetness?