feeling lost

i work from home as a mommy and it gets so lonely sometimes. i started this thing with my daddy last year, he's like the only one who understands me now. we do all kinds of stuff, mostly just talking and texting about our feelings and needs. but lately, even that hasnt been enough. tonight, i really needed him to push me, make me feel something besides this emptiness inside. so i asked for it, told him what i wanted in detail, every little thing. he went along with it, playing the role perfectly. we didnt hold back at all, talked about everything, did things that maybe only happen in private between adults like us. afterwards though, i still felt hollow, not sure if any of it was real or helped. writing this now feels weird but also kinda good to let out.