Lost in the Game of Power and Submission

I'm a first-year law student, new to exploring DDLG dynamics. I met someone online who's really into being dominant, he calls himself Papa, and agreed to try it out as an experiment. It was intense, so different from what I'd expected. He gave me strict rules about schoolwork, how I dressed, even little things like staying in my room unless instructed otherwise. At first, I struggled a lot with the boundaries; there were times when I felt trapped and wanted to break free but didn't know how to without upsetting him or feeling guilty. One night, after he disciplined me for breaking a rule, I cried myself to sleep thinking about how much this was changing who I thought I was becoming. It feels like every day is a battle between wanting to escape the role and craving his approval at the same time. I'm questioning if all relationships should feel so controlling or if it's just my inexperience. What do you think? Am I doing something wrong, or is this okay for someone who's new to exploring DDLG?