A Caregiver's Secret Sadness

I'm a nonbinary switch, sometimes feeling like a little one needing care, others wanting to be the caregiver. Lately, I've been slipping into my littlespace more often, finding comfort in it when the world feels too big and scary. Last night, I had a session where everything felt right for a moment, then it ended and I was left with this hollow feeling inside. Do you ever feel like your safeword doesn't just stop play but ends something else? Share if you've had that.