I Broke My Little Rule... Again?

I’ve been in this dynamic with my partner for about two years now. It started as more of a playful relationship, but over time it evolved into something deeper and more meaningful to both of us. I’m trans and we agreed early on that part of the fun would be me taking on a young persona during our playtime. My partner calls me his little girl when we’re together in this space. It’s been a great way for me to feel protected and cared for, which has helped my mental health so much. The rule I’ve broken recently isn’t anything major. We decided it would be best if I followed the schedule he laid out for me, wake up early, do chores, homework (yes, we include study time), and have meals at set times. It’s a strict routine designed to keep me busy and focused but also feeling cared for under his guidance. But last weekend, I just couldn’t follow it. My partner went away on a business trip, leaving me home alone with the freedom to do as I pleased. For weeks we’d been talking about how much easier my life would be if I stuck to our little rules, he’s right, it is better when I don’t deviate too far from them. But this time, something snapped inside of me. I had a chocolate stash that I’ve hidden in the back of one of our kitchen cabinets for emergencies like this. One day, just after lunchtime and well before my scheduled snack break, I sneaked off to the cabinet and took a bite, then another. The next thing I knew, an hour later, half the box was gone. I’m ashamed because I know it’s against our rules but I can’t help feeling like there are moments when even strict boundaries need to be broken just for a bit of indulgence or freedom. It’s frustrating that as much as this setup feels good and comforting to me, sometimes my human desires feel so strong they push back. I haven’t told him yet, scared about how he’ll react, he’s the disciplinarian after all. Maybe I was overthinking everything? But breaking something we agreed on still feels like a betrayal of our agreement, even if it's just about eating a few chocolates outside schedule.