...A Professor's Secret Play...

I've been married for twenty-five years to the same woman...we have a good life together, though our intimacy has waned over time. About a decade ago, I started exploring my sexuality more openly, something that was kept entirely private and secret from her. The discovery of a website dedicated to DDLG dynamics really shook things up inside me... I found myself drawn to the little-space role...sometimes it felt like such an escape, being able to be vulnerable and childlike again in a way I haven't been since before adulthood. And at other times, caring for someone as their guardian or caregiver was just so empowering and fulfilling. The real trouble began last year when I started playing online with someone who was younger than me...though not by much, she's in her late thirties and I'm fifty-one. We've never met in person but it felt like a breath of fresh air, exploring these dynamics from both sides... But the line between fantasy and reality blurred recently when she suggested we try roleplaying over video chat...and there was something about seeing myself as someone's little one that got me incredibly turned on...I ended up sending her some compromising videos of myself in a childlike state...that's probably crossing a line, isn't it... I feel ashamed admitting this even to myself...it feels like I've lost part of who I am and betrayed the vows I made long ago. How did things get so far out of hand? What is wrong with me?