Finding Pleasure in Unconventional Ways...

I'm fifty-two now, and I've always felt like there's a part of me that's never grown up. It started when I was young, but I never acted on it back then, now that I'm older, married with kids, I finally let myself explore this side... When I close my eyes during sex, I feel like a kid again, asking for permission to touch, waiting for approval before anything happens. My wife doesn't know all of this, and sometimes it scares me because it feels so out-of-control... Like tonight, when we were in bed, she asked me what I wanted, and I whispered 'Please let me be bad...' It was the first time I'd said something like that aloud, and her eyes widened with surprise. She didn't know how to react, but she gave in. The way she looked at me afterward... it made me feel so alive and young again. Is this normal? Should I tell my wife about this other part of myself? It feels important, but also terrifying.