...After the Fall...

I recently got divorced after seven years of marriage... It was brutal. My ex had decided she wanted a 'real' relationship and I just... didn't want that anymore. So here I am, in my mid-thirties, alone, and questioning everything... A few weeks ago, I found myself driving to a kink event for the first time ever... Something about being single made me feel like trying new things was okay now. And let's just say, it wasn't just trying one thing; there were multiple experiences that day that led me down a path I never expected... One of them involved a dominant male who took me under his wing (literally). We started with light play and teasing, but as the night went on, we delved deeper. He was firm yet understanding, guiding me through scenarios where he would correct my mistakes... It felt so freeing and cathartic to have someone else take control in ways I couldn't manage myself... The physical side of it left me breathless... My body responded in ways that were both surprising and exhilarating... There's a part of me that feels like this is just what I've been missing for years, but another part worries if these feelings are normal or healthy... Should I even be exploring this? Am I the asshole for wanting something different after all these years together? It felt like an escape from reality, and now it's confusing... What should I do next? Is there a community of others who've explored similar paths after divorce? I feel so lost...