Caught in the Moment of Desire

I met my partner Sarah nearly three years ago when we were both 26. We clicked instantly and became inseparable almost immediately after that first coffee date. Over time, our relationship deepened and we moved in together just a year into dating. It was natural to start exploring different aspects of intimacy as well. She had hinted at her interest in DDLG/kink dynamics but I always felt like it was too early or not the right time for me personally until recently. A few months back, she proposed we take a playful approach with light discipline and roleplay scenarios. Initially hesitant, I agreed to give it a try on one condition: everything had to be clearly defined beforehand and I needed full control over what limits were set and when. We established some rules but left room for spontaneity too. Last weekend during our anniversary trip, she pushed me gently towards something slightly more intense. She wore an outfit that made her look much younger and playful in a way that was surprisingly effective at getting under my skin. As we sat by the beach, drinking wine and talking about nothing important, I felt this overwhelming urge to act on the thoughts I'd been trying so hard to suppress for months. I decided to take the lead then and there, starting with some light physical discipline in front of a crowd of strangers - something that both excited and scared me deeply. Despite being nervous about it, we both agreed after our trip was over it had felt freeing and cathartic somehow. I've never really been into public displays before, but this one time worked out perfectly due to our strong foundation. The confession here is how conflicted I feel now looking back on it; part of me worries if acting out in such an uncharacteristic way reflects poorly on who we are as a couple long-term. We're still unpacking all the emotions from that moment, but my fear remains - am I setting myself up for future disappointment or just enjoying a fleeting adventure?