When I Got Caught Red-Handed (Or Red-Cap-Hooded)

I've been single for a couple months now and there's this thing about me that I feel ashamed to admit. It started before the split, but has continued on my own because it just feels so right sometimes... but maybe wrong too. My ex was very into DDLG, roleplaying as a dominant caregiver and having me act like their little girl or student in school. We never pushed any boundaries we weren't comfortable with; everything was consensual and fun for both of us at the time. He took on this role because I needed it more than he did, but also genuinely enjoyed being able to provide that kind of support. Since breaking up a few weeks ago though, these fantasies and urges have gotten stronger in some ways. There's days when I feel like doing them alone - dressing up, writing out stories as if we were still together... But what really got me thinking is last night when I woke up early for work and grabbed a hoodie to go over my pajamas. It was one of those cozy hoodies with an elastic band around the neck that pulls tight. I slipped it on without even thinking about it, but as soon as I did, it all came flooding back - the way he'd call me his little girl if I wore something like that before we left for work. The memories were so vivid and comforting... until I caught myself staring into the mirror after getting dressed and saw how silly and immature it looked on a full-grown woman who's now 30 years old. I'm ashamed to admit that in some ways, those kinds of moments are still what makes me feel normal. It's this internal conflict: craving something that feels so good but knowing it isn't really healthy for me anymore alone. The hoodie came off right away and I changed my clothes quickly before leaving the house, trying not to let anyone see how much I was struggling with this. Is there anything wrong in just needing a little comfort every now and then even if you're fully aware of its context? It's embarrassing to write about but these things keep happening and I don't know what to do. I wish someone could give me advice, but mostly I feel like an idiot for still playing along with something from my past.