Confused About Me and Him

I don't know how to explain this without sounding weird. I've always been into strict discipline stuff in my relationships, but now that I'm transitioning and figuring myself out as a trans guy, everything feels more complicated. Lately, I’ve been drawn to a friend who knows about my transition but doesn’t understand it well, he's still trying to figure me out too, I think. We had this moment last night where he was being really bossy with me during playtime, telling me what to do and how to act like a kid again. It felt so wrong at first, because of all the stuff going on in my head about who I am now, but then it was also super hot and comforting somehow. He's older than me, by five years, and he knows things that maybe someone my age wouldn't get yet. We both went really deep into roleplay, like, physically too, and even though we stopped before anything serious, the idea of him being in charge like a dad figure, while I'm still trying to understand myself, is something that keeps popping up in my mind. It's so weird and new and scary, but also exciting because it feels real between us. Can I really be into this?